Holiday Tips

<body topmargin=0 leftmargin=0 marginheight=0 marginwidth=0> <table cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 border=0 height="100%"><tr> <td valign="top" width=195 BGCOLOR="#663366" TEXT="#080000" background="044c6172dkcfuy.gif"> <bR> </td> <td valign="top" BGCOLOR="#CC99CC" TEXT="#080000"> <div> <FONT SIZE="5" COLOR="#663366" FACE="Arial" >Wisdom Tales</FONT><FONT SIZE="1" COLOR="#663399" FACE="Times New Roman" >    </FONT> |    <B> </B><FONT SIZE="2" COLOR="#6633CC" FACE="Times New Roman" ><A HREF="index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Wisdom Tales"><U><B>home</B></U></A></FONT></div> <div> <A HREF="id2.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Story of the month "><U>Story of the month </U></A>   |   <A HREF="id3.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="TellMeAnuda "><U>TellMeAnuda </U></A>   |   <B>Holiday Tips</B>   |   <A HREF="id6.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Bibliography"><U>Bibliography</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id15.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Previous Stories"><U>Previous Stories</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id18.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Stories for Peace 9/11"><U>Stories for Peace & 9/11</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id19.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Links"><U>Links</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id16.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Articles"><U>Articles</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id17.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Storytelling and Healing"><U>Storytelling and Healing</U></A></div> <div> <IMG SRC="04af0030.gif" border=0 width="496" height="3" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <div> Holiday Tips</div> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> Coping with Loss Through the Holidays</div> <div> (You could reprint this as a poster or handout).</div> <bR> <div>     The holiday season is upon us once again. If we are experiencing challenges or losses in our lives this can be an especially difficult time. Here are some ideas for managing stress and practicing self-care during the holiday season. </div> <bR> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700c800000000.gif" HEIGHT="13" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">This is a very important time to stay healthy. Get plenty of rest, eat well, sleep well, and take your medications. Avoid alcohol and drugs, or keep them to a minimum. You'll feel better. Grief and healing require a great deal of physical and psychic energy. Take care of yourself. </div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700c800000000.gif" HEIGHT="13" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Make a plan for what you will do on the actual holidays. Include activities that are pleasurable, and relaxing, such as:</div> <div> Finding and playing music that you love.</div> <div> Renting a stack of funny and engaging videos. </div> <div> Going for a walk out of doors. Taking a bath. Doing yoga.</div> <div> Dancing, painting, writing poetry, or reading a favorite story or book. </div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700c800000000.gif" HEIGHT="13" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Make sure that you are with people with whom you can be yourself, and tell the stories that you need to tell. You may need to cry, and it must be ok to do so.</div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700c800000000.gif" HEIGHT="13" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Discuss your fears and disappointments related to the holidays with your therapist or a trusted friend. Gather support around you. Many people experience loss in the form of disappointments at the holiday time when relatives and friends do not choose to join with them, or when traditions are broken.</div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700c800000000.gif" HEIGHT="13" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Take time to remember loved ones who have died with new rituals that you create, including <B>storytelling rituals</B>:</div> <div> Ask each person to bring and share a favorite memory about a person.</div> <div> Hang a stocking or wrap a box for the person who is no longer there and have each person put something into it, such as a favorite memory, a prayer, or poem. </div> <div> Make a place for that person at the table and talk about what they used to bring to, or love about that holiday time. Or make a place card for them and put it by their picture nearby the table, or on the table. </div> <div> Let any children involved decide on creative ways that they want to include the lost loved one in a holiday. Children often know what they need to satisfy their needs. One child for instance had family members write letters to a Grandmother who had recently died, and then they instructed each person to burn them in the fireplace so they would reach her in heaven. </div> <div> Look at pictures of the loved one and let them lead into stories.</div> <div> Assemble a memory book relating to the loved one with your relatives and give them out as presents, or assemble them together from each person's contribution.</div> <div> If it is too painful for people to story tell out loud at first, have a silent time for each person to think of their loved one. This may become a tradition!</div> <div> Read or tell stories or poems that your loved one found especially inspiring and comforting. That way their voices will continue to contribute to your lives. </div> <bR> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700c800000000.gif" HEIGHT="13" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Find out what support groups meet on holidays. AA, churches, synagogues, etc. and hospices often organize meetings and activities. You don't have to be alone.</div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700c800000000.gif" HEIGHT="13" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Don't do things because you think you should. Explain to people that this year you need to take it easy and there may be some things that you just are not up to.</div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700c800000000.gif" HEIGHT="13" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Delegate responsibility. Let someone else shop, cook and address those envelopes. Shop over the phone. Give people creative gifts such as a favorite poem or photograph, or a hug.</div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700c800000000.gif" HEIGHT="13" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Decide to skip the holiday altogether the first year if this is easier for you. </div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700c800000000.gif" HEIGHT="13" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Explore the spiritual and or religious aspects of the holidays and let the commercial ones go this year. </div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700c800000000.gif" HEIGHT="13" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Make a list every night of all the little and big things you can be grateful for that you experienced that day. Gratitude and peace will grow in your heart.  </div> <bR> </td> </tr></table></body>